Proverbs Defines True Friendship

Everything we need to know about life is found in the Bible; that includes how to be a good friend. If you want to have a good friend, you need to be one.  Many of us have life-long friendships. I’ve been friends with Louise for over 45-five years. We’ve shared much laughter and tears in that span of time. Did we always meet eye-to-eye on everything? No; but we valued are friendship enough not to allow anything to severe it.

Proverbs defines true friendship, and provides great nuggets of truth within the verses. Here’s what I discovered:

Proverbs 17:9 – He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends.

In all our relationships, including friendships, we have to be willing to forgive and forget. We can’t allow a transgression to ruin our friendships. None of us are perfect.  Common sense tells us that overlooking or forgiving an offence goes a long way in preserving a friendship. When Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Amazingly Jesus replied, “Up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22). If Jesus can forgive and forget, we can too, since we’re made in His image.

Proverbs 17:7 – A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Friends like this can be counted on, through the good times and the bad. Some people have admitted that they are closer to their friends than family. I love the quote by Edna Buchanan, “Friends are the family we chose for ourselves.” Yes; God chose our family, even before we were born, but He gave us free choice concerning our friendships. God desires that we have good friends in our lives; and He will help us nurture and treasure those friendships.

Proverbs 18:24 – A man who has friends must show himself friendly and there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Another translation reads: “There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

A friend that sticks closer than a brother or sister is precious. Family members may not make themselves available in times of need; but friends go the extra mile. A good friend is dependable, loyal, and trustworthy. No matter what the need, they’ll do their best to be available; and are sincere when they say, “Don’t hesitate to call; even in the middle of the night.”  What a blessing to know they mean it.  

Genuine friendships take time and effort; they will stick with us through thick and thin; as we will for them. These friends are real; not superficial. We don’t have to pretend everything is all right when it’s not. They will love us despite our flaws and weaknesses. Authentic friends come alongside us when we are down and hurting, or suffering a loss. They feely give whatever is needed, whether it’s a ride to an appointment; a meal in time of an illness; a confidant to talk over a personal matter. And they know they can count on us in their times of need. Good friends are there for one another.

Proverbs 16:28 – A perverse man stirs up a conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Proverbs 18:8    – The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body.

A good friend must be trusted to keep a confidence. Trust in a friendship will be broken when a private matter is repeated to another. Gossip separates friends, even drives a wedge between others considered close friends. Have you heard of the Spanish proverb? Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. – Now that gives serious food for thought!

Has someone ever said to you? “I’m not supposed to repeat this; I know you won’t tell anyone else.”  It has happened to me, and I admit I listened to what was being said about another person.  In God’s eyes; I indulged in gossip, which is not pleasing in His sight.  I asked His forgiveness and vowed to not participate in gossip any longer. It’s not always easy but worth the effort to takes to avoid it.

Proverbs 27:9 – Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart, so does the sweetness of a man’s friend by a hearty counsel.

Imagine good friends cheering one another up with sweet-smelling words of encouragement that delights the ears and the heart. Friends are honest with one another and sometimes have to be direct about a matter. Good friends have each other’s best interests at heart, and say what needs to be said with love and kindness.

God knows the kind of friends we need, and He will put them in our path. After He does, it is up to us to love and nurture these friendships. My mother gave me a lovely hand towel imprinted with the words, “Friends are flowers in the garden of life.” So true isn’t it? Let’s water our friendships with tender loving care so they’ll bloom for years to come.